Brent has completed one month so far at BaseCamp. He is doing really well but had some bumps along the way. Lets begin at the beginning - seems to be the best place to start.
We got home from Vancouver and immediately had to unpack and re-pack Brent for Basecamp. Being he left during the summer and is there through until late fall/early winter, he needs like a bit of everything. Tensions were a bit high that night. Only because we all knew the next day was huge and he was leaving us and as much as we knew he had to, we knew we'd miss him and it was painful. Sometimes instead of showing that pain people just get snappy with each other - and that's what happened. Nothing serious just...emotions.
The next morning (August 31) we got into the car and drove to the AADAC center in North Calgary. One of the counsellors talked to us and then we, along with a mom and her daughter, all got into a van and headed out to for the long drive to the camp.
Long is a understatement. Where I wanted to never get there really - I also just wanted to be off the horrible road.... road is a overstatement. You end up on a kind of path.. with big huge dips? I would say potholes but that doesn't do it justice. Anyways it was like a ride at the stampede being bumped and bounced all over the car, only it never seemed to end! Finally we got to the meeting spot and we all got out.
We hiked up a hill to the camp. I got to the top huffing and puffing thought I might die! OMG I AM SO OUT OF SHAPE IT'S SAD! Then the camp was before us. Really cool looking place, surround by trees at the peak of this mountain with a lake beside it. All these small cabins for various things. One is a the cookshack one is the boys cabin, one the girls, one is the bathroom, one is the laundry - etc. It was really rather pretty! They then took us to the cookshack for paper signing and then we all had lunch together.
Before lunch they all (other kids included) introduced themselves and how long they have been there. They are all at various stages - some a few weeks and some near the end. It was a nice atmosphere - very "family" like. I am allowed to take pictures of the camp, and I will do that. I just can't show you any of the people - confidentiality - which I 100% understand and agree with.
After lunch we, along with the mom and her daughter, did a activity together. It was to teach us how we all need each other to make it and to keep trying even if we fall back. Good for the kids to learn too. One of the impressive moments was they asked us to write down a trait we have that we feel will help us on the recovery. Brent wrote "commitment" and explained he is committed to making this work and to staying clean and sober. I was impressed to say the least.
Time came to go home and we all walked back to the van. Where I realized why I was huffing and puffing so bad on the way up. I was climbing up the side of a very steep mountain! Ok don't feel AS bad, still out of shape though. We get to the van and goodbyes start. That's when it hits me. He isn't coming home with us. He is staying here and I am trusting these strangers to help bring me my son back and to raise him for the next 3 months. Terror, anxiety. I hug him and shove my feelings aside - now sadness, the feeling of grief. I want to just bring him back with me. I hold it together - no tears and we are on our way back. I literally pass out on the way back to AADAC. I think the emotions of it all just take too much out of me and wham, I'm out. I am awakened by Larry's cell phone ringing in the van. Turns out he was out too.
Since then Brent phones and we phone him about every other day. He has come home for a Day visit. My brother took us all out for lunch for his and Jessica's birthday then back to our place for cake and coffee. It was a great day and Brent said some remarkable things to us.
He told us a story of how one day at camp they went on a hike up a mountain. At first he didn't like it then he ended up loving it. Part way up he realized this mountain was like "life". He explained, some parts are hard and difficult and some are amazing and enjoyable but its all worth it to get to the top. Insightful to say the least. While he was home he made a lot of these types of comments and we were amazed and proud. He was a different person.
The only way to describe this is to say it like this. As a parent you raise your child with morals and values and instill on them as much wisdom as you can. Then one day (as with us) this new person shows up and nothing you had taught them or told them seems to be there. You wonder what happened to that child you knew yesterday? Where did they go? And you try to barter and reason with the new one - which is (it seems) a never winning battle.
What we have seen in Brent is the "Brent" we new before. The one who disappeared. I think to myself when I hear him talk "wow, I remember you, where have you been? I've missed you so much!" The old Brent has fought his way back and we are so happy to see him. He's had some depression moments since he went back after his home visit. He misses us terribly. The last few days he has perked right up and said to me last night how it's been a month already! He is proud of his achievements and it went by so fast! He feels able to do 2 more. We are Proud. Very Proud.
BaseCamp has school every day. He will get a math credit as well as a phys-ed credit. When he returns home he will be able to go right back into Highschool to finish his grade 12. He comes home again next weekend for the whole weekend. We also get to spend a night out at the camp to experience the day in his life. That should be interesting! We also do family counselling every 2 weeks.
This program is a non profit program through AADAC which runs on donations. If you have the means please donate. If not for this program I don't think I would have ever seen my son back again.
~K
We got home from Vancouver and immediately had to unpack and re-pack Brent for Basecamp. Being he left during the summer and is there through until late fall/early winter, he needs like a bit of everything. Tensions were a bit high that night. Only because we all knew the next day was huge and he was leaving us and as much as we knew he had to, we knew we'd miss him and it was painful. Sometimes instead of showing that pain people just get snappy with each other - and that's what happened. Nothing serious just...emotions.
The next morning (August 31) we got into the car and drove to the AADAC center in North Calgary. One of the counsellors talked to us and then we, along with a mom and her daughter, all got into a van and headed out to for the long drive to the camp.
Long is a understatement. Where I wanted to never get there really - I also just wanted to be off the horrible road.... road is a overstatement. You end up on a kind of path.. with big huge dips? I would say potholes but that doesn't do it justice. Anyways it was like a ride at the stampede being bumped and bounced all over the car, only it never seemed to end! Finally we got to the meeting spot and we all got out.
We hiked up a hill to the camp. I got to the top huffing and puffing thought I might die! OMG I AM SO OUT OF SHAPE IT'S SAD! Then the camp was before us. Really cool looking place, surround by trees at the peak of this mountain with a lake beside it. All these small cabins for various things. One is a the cookshack one is the boys cabin, one the girls, one is the bathroom, one is the laundry - etc. It was really rather pretty! They then took us to the cookshack for paper signing and then we all had lunch together.
Before lunch they all (other kids included) introduced themselves and how long they have been there. They are all at various stages - some a few weeks and some near the end. It was a nice atmosphere - very "family" like. I am allowed to take pictures of the camp, and I will do that. I just can't show you any of the people - confidentiality - which I 100% understand and agree with.
After lunch we, along with the mom and her daughter, did a activity together. It was to teach us how we all need each other to make it and to keep trying even if we fall back. Good for the kids to learn too. One of the impressive moments was they asked us to write down a trait we have that we feel will help us on the recovery. Brent wrote "commitment" and explained he is committed to making this work and to staying clean and sober. I was impressed to say the least.
Time came to go home and we all walked back to the van. Where I realized why I was huffing and puffing so bad on the way up. I was climbing up the side of a very steep mountain! Ok don't feel AS bad, still out of shape though. We get to the van and goodbyes start. That's when it hits me. He isn't coming home with us. He is staying here and I am trusting these strangers to help bring me my son back and to raise him for the next 3 months. Terror, anxiety. I hug him and shove my feelings aside - now sadness, the feeling of grief. I want to just bring him back with me. I hold it together - no tears and we are on our way back. I literally pass out on the way back to AADAC. I think the emotions of it all just take too much out of me and wham, I'm out. I am awakened by Larry's cell phone ringing in the van. Turns out he was out too.
Since then Brent phones and we phone him about every other day. He has come home for a Day visit. My brother took us all out for lunch for his and Jessica's birthday then back to our place for cake and coffee. It was a great day and Brent said some remarkable things to us.
He told us a story of how one day at camp they went on a hike up a mountain. At first he didn't like it then he ended up loving it. Part way up he realized this mountain was like "life". He explained, some parts are hard and difficult and some are amazing and enjoyable but its all worth it to get to the top. Insightful to say the least. While he was home he made a lot of these types of comments and we were amazed and proud. He was a different person.
The only way to describe this is to say it like this. As a parent you raise your child with morals and values and instill on them as much wisdom as you can. Then one day (as with us) this new person shows up and nothing you had taught them or told them seems to be there. You wonder what happened to that child you knew yesterday? Where did they go? And you try to barter and reason with the new one - which is (it seems) a never winning battle.
What we have seen in Brent is the "Brent" we new before. The one who disappeared. I think to myself when I hear him talk "wow, I remember you, where have you been? I've missed you so much!" The old Brent has fought his way back and we are so happy to see him. He's had some depression moments since he went back after his home visit. He misses us terribly. The last few days he has perked right up and said to me last night how it's been a month already! He is proud of his achievements and it went by so fast! He feels able to do 2 more. We are Proud. Very Proud.
BaseCamp has school every day. He will get a math credit as well as a phys-ed credit. When he returns home he will be able to go right back into Highschool to finish his grade 12. He comes home again next weekend for the whole weekend. We also get to spend a night out at the camp to experience the day in his life. That should be interesting! We also do family counselling every 2 weeks.
This program is a non profit program through AADAC which runs on donations. If you have the means please donate. If not for this program I don't think I would have ever seen my son back again.
~K
I'm so very very proud of you all. It's never just one that has a problem but the whole family. You guys are hanging in there together and getting stronger because of it.
I know it's tough. Are you planning on family councilling when this is done?
Kala is seeing her therapist this Thursday,just adore her. Her name is Dawn Israel. so,we work with her and if she has any good ideas , I greatfully take them and use them.
Not that Kala is into anything but major depression and coping right now, as well as fear.
Seems the hardest things we do in life, is to raise our children so we can let them go. Hard to see an adult when we held them in our arms such a short time ago.
Children are such odd creatures. Three going on thirty. They still need the cuddles , reassurances but heck, we do too. That's the good part, we get to snuggle and it does us all a lot of good.
Love ya kid. Keep on hanging in there. Again, I couldn't be prouder of you all.
Tell Brent that HE IS SUPER AWESOME for me.
kristen, I can.t tell you how wonderful it is to hear that Brent is doing so well. It brings tears of joy for you and Larry to finally have sight of that wonderful boy Kyndra and I care about so much. It would make kyndra feel better knowing that he is safe and become himself again. We have missed and hope to see him as the boy we know and love
love
lorraine & kyndra