When Brent came home after we threw him out, he seemed to eager and willing to do his best and become a part of the family again. I was so happy to see that and hoped we were at the end of a horrible trial. I stayed on guard, as my life has always taught me to never get too comfortable because things can change on a dime and your entire world can come crumbling apart. This was no exception.
He declined slowly. The rule was he was to be grounded for 2 weeks. No friends in, no going out - etc. Pretty basic. In the meantime I did give him my old laptop so he did have something to do. For ONE day this was
ok. Then he was going out during the day while we were at work. No matter how we explained this was not acceptable it
didn't seem to sink in. Then he got a job at the stampede grounds. We explained - again - that we didn't really want him to get a job until his grounding was over. We allowed it however thinking it might do him some good.
He did one shift completely. The next shift he was let off at 9 PM (He was supposed to work until midnight). So at midnight, Larry, Jessica and I went to the grounds to pick him up. Not knowing he had been let off early because he didn't have the appropriate uniform. Larry stood at the spot they were supposed to meet and waiting for 2 hours. No Brent. Finally Larry called where he works and they informed us when he left. We then drove to Anderson
LRT station - No Brent. We went home - very angry and upset. 6:00 AM he came home. No real
explanation at all.
We went through it all again - tell him what we expected of him and the rules. At that point he took his huge turn for the worst. He was gone during the day while we were at work, then would come home later and leave again (All through his bedroom window). This went on and on for a few days. When he did come home he was high/drunk.
On
Wednesday I got a call at work from Jessica who said he was home, while I was talking to her I heard a voice in the background. I said "who is THAT?!" she informed me it was "Tyler". This is a "Friend" of
Brent's who is a known
criminal, drug user, homeless. I asked her to put Brent on the phone. She said he was sleeping!!! I thought oh
that's fantastic, you bring this kid into my home that I ONLY know by reputation to be ALONE with my 11 year old baby girl?! I
DON'T THINK SO!! I told her I didn't care and WAKE HIM UP. So we got Tyler out of the house. I came home after work and went to Brent's room - there he was sleeping. Oh yes and when I spoke to him on the phone it was obvious he was high/drunk or some combination there of. So after I saw him sleeping we went and had dinner. I checked on him some time later and he's gone. Window open (the cat is outside too - I have a indoor cat who has been getting out a lot lately!). Now I am very annoyed and furious! I go to bed and when I get up in the morning I remember I thought I heard something in the night - so I go back down to his room. There he is sleeping again. So again I am furious. I go to let the dog out and peek around the corner at him to see how he is and I see in Brent's window well a big red back pack.
I get my shoes on and go get the backpack and go through it. There are various school booklets in there, some papers in
Chinese and a name and address. Not Brent's of course. There is a camera in there and other various personal items. It was used for a laptop but there is no laptop in the bag. I call Larry and tell him to which he says he wants Brent to call him when he gets up. I decide I don't want to wait and go to to his room and wake him.
His first response is that the backpack is his, he's always had it. I inform him that he is not
Chinese and doesn't own a house up the street. Then he changes the story to he "doesn't know" or "remember" where he got it. He phones Larry as I tell him to and between Larry and I we decide
that's enough. Larry turns around and comes home and we escort Brent out. He is emotionless. Jessica is upstairs in hysterics crying. Her heart broken. I say to him "You hear your baby sister? Her tears? How does that make you feel" His response "YOU are the one throwing me out!" I said "REALLY that is how you see this?? THAT is the problem RIGHT THERE!!" I follow behind Brent while he puts some things in backpack and find his drug
paraphernalia behind his bookshelf. I tell him to "Not to forget to take whats important to him". Still no emotion. He leaves the drug stuff (which I have tossed out since) and leaves. Larry goes to comfort Jessica and I call into work to tell them I won't be in for the next couple days.
Since then avenue 15 (a group type home downtown for teens) has phoned to say he is there. We haven't heard from him since. I told him he was NOT allowed back in this house until he was over this. I didn't want someone who steels and is drunk/high in my house! He said he doesn't come home drunk or high and he sobers up before he gets here. Really- so how did I KNOW you were drinking or high then? LUCKY F*
ing guess?? I said when he is clean and sober and wants to be part of this family he can come back but I can't take any more of this.
Tyler phoned later in the evening to inform us the backpack was his doing not Brent's. With all Tylers other faults he is the ONLY so called "Friend" of Brents who has EVER come to his aid or come forward on their part of it. To that end I was impressed because it does show me that on SOME level Tyler does care about Brent. If all of this was really about a backpack that would be enough - but the backpack is mearly the final straw. There are much bigger issues at hand.
That's all we have for now. No more news and it just makes me sick. I am so mad and frustrated and that along with this horrible feeling of guilt and remorse - there is no name for it. It hurts all over. But that is where we are at.
