Where are we now with recovery. I get asked this from time to time. I had a lot of faithful followers during it all. I even had a church group who would read and pray for me. To you all I thank you. Even in my darkest moments I knew that I wasn't alone. I think that is a big part of going through something like this. People tend to hide it from a feeling of shame and I honestly believe that is a mistake.

Today we are a family. It almost feels sometimes like it all was a just a bad dream - nightmare. It was however very real and something I can not just ignore away. We love Brent, and we are very proud of how far he has come. He is seeing life with new eyes and has put his past behind him. He is a different person.

A few words on addiction. During it all I refused to watch the A&E show about addicts. I was living it, I didn't need to see any more of it, it hurt too much. Lately I have been watching it. I figure it's good to remind myself, and not to just slip into blissful ignorance. There was a girl on it the other night, so angry at the world. Yelling at her parents, friends, family. They interviewed the family and that wasn't at all her un-drug personality. I could relate. It is like a different person. Something parents really need to watch for.

I get very tired of the people who claim that marijuana is not a drug or is not addictive or has NO harmful effects. It is, and it does. I am also sick to death of hearing the argument that it is at least not as harmful on your body as alcohol. What a useless argument that is. A lot of things are less harmful than being a alcoholic - should we start doing them all for that reason? Is that how we measure how we should live our life? Well driving while high is not as bad as swimming in a pool filled with sharks - so why not do it. If that was how we decided how to live then I am sure alcoholics could give a long list of how doing that is safer than - shouting you have a "bomb" while in a airport, walking around counting cash at 2 Am in a bad part of town, setting yourself on fire... you get the idea.

Any way, Pot continues to be the nemesis. True it is not as bad as other things like crack or meth. Still though has its own list of bad effects. I have said this before and I will say it again - ANY drug if used to get high - is a abuse of that drug. Marijuana has a medical use, I do truly believe that. Using it to get high makes you no better than any other drug user. I don't care how you want to fancy it up. In my opinion, still a abuser. So no I do not partake in that abuse. I know people who do and that is their life to live, I don't want it to be mine.

We never gave up on Brent and pushed him to get help. If you have a child who is underage - you are in charge here - DO IT. It's a life you are saving. Get involved, get a PCHAD order, force them into rehab. Never stop.

Today as I sit writing this drinking my coffee and reflecting, I find it hard still to say anything that is "too good". Seems usually in my life when I become too settled or happy someone comes and rips the rug from under me. So I will just say this, I will never allow myself to forget the moments of my past and I am looking ahead to a brighter future.

~K