I was reviewing this blog, going back over the years. There is a lot you forget with the passage of time and I am not so sure that is a good thing. As they say, when you forget the past you are doomed to repeat it. I do not want to repeat it!

Today we went to court to get the last of Brent's "past" finished with. The day he went into PCHAD he had been in custody and arrested for mischief and possession of stolen property. Our lawyer worked with the crown and made a deal that if Brent plead guilty to the PSP and one count of the mischief they would reduce the sentence to community service. After he does the community service his record will be clean. He will enter his adult years with a clean slate.

Today Larry and I and Jessica went to Base Camp to help Brent go through his passage. It was a wonderful day. We started out with lunch and a cake that Brent and his friend (another client) had made. Which was very good. Afterwards we went to a TeePee and did a ceremony called smudging. Brent's friend (same one who made the cake with him) Picked some pine and you add some coals from the fire and put it all into a shell then allow the smoke to wash over you. Taking out of you whatever you want and replacing it with what you need. It is a time of reflection and it is all done in silence. After that we went to the swing!! I didn't get a picture of Brent on the swing because I thought I had to pull the rope!! I wish I had known how easy it was and that I wasn't really needed to pull the rope at all. He went RIGHT to the VERY VERY top and WOOOOOSH he went - it was awesome! He was fearless! Me on the other hand almost PLOTZ but I did it! Larry video taped me and everything lol!

We are so Proud of you Brent and so happy you are home! Now we can continue on this journey together as a family. Remember, we are always here for you - when ever you need us and even when you think you don't.

Love ya kid!

The countdown has begun. Brent gets to come home this Friday at 1:00. I and almost afraid to breathe. I am so proud of all he has done - I am terrified of my house of cards tumbling down. I have planted my feet firmly into his life and will be there if he needs me and even if he thinks he doesn't.

Right now I am looking at Friday and spending it in a ceremony with my son and showing him how proud of him I am. We did some amazing work last Saturday at the AADAC center. I really got to see the world through Brent's eyes and he seems to really understand me as well. It was heart warming and fulfilling.

I will be taking pictures! So dear readers this part of our journey will come to an end on Friday - I invite you to take a moment that day and send some good positive thoughts to Brent and do your own version of celebrating. You have come a long way with us and been my sounding post, my rock and my confidants.

Thank you for being here for us and for you kindness, heart and strength. I will post how it all went on Friday! We are there Friday 9AM and it's done at 1:00 PM.

From us to you, Thank you - a million thank yous.
Love and gratitude,
~Brent, Jessica, Larry and Kristen

We are inching closer to Brent's passage day. He finishes the Base Camp program November 20th. Hard to believe 3 months have past already.


To say there have been changes would be an understatement. He is a person I am glad to have finally met. The weekends that he comes home (every second weekend) I enjoy his company very much. He has a bright and funny sense of humor. He is very open and honest with us. He has told us everything we ask of him and told us things we didn't ask. He came clean about all his "use" problems and various addictions. Nothing too shocking to us really - just proud he came to us and told us, as hard as it was for him to do.


We go to the AADAC center next weekend all day for 2 days with Brent. It's for something they call "Family Matters". Us and a couple of other families all get together and do various workshops. It's to help strengthen the family unit and help us to learn about each other.

He will be starting school in September of next year. My biggest concerns are when he comes home. I am in a huge conflict over what to do. He will be home by himself until September - that is a long time. He will get bored and I worry what will happen. With me working and not being there to get him to do things or to do things with him - well the guilt I will feel if he falls backward will be unbearable. I can't lose him and I should be doing all I can to help him. I already have unbearable guilt from working to start with. Since this all really started when I started to work. I don't think I would ever forgive myself, I can't seem to now as it is.

Not sure what to do next.

Brent has completed one month so far at BaseCamp. He is doing really well but had some bumps along the way. Lets begin at the beginning - seems to be the best place to start.

We got home from Vancouver and immediately had to unpack and re-pack Brent for Basecamp. Being he left during the summer and is there through until late fall/early winter, he needs like a bit of everything. Tensions were a bit high that night. Only because we all knew the next day was huge and he was leaving us and as much as we knew he had to, we knew we'd miss him and it was painful. Sometimes instead of showing that pain people just get snappy with each other - and that's what happened. Nothing serious just...emotions.

The next morning (August 31) we got into the car and drove to the AADAC center in North Calgary. One of the counsellors talked to us and then we, along with a mom and her daughter, all got into a van and headed out to for the long drive to the camp.

Long is a understatement. Where I wanted to never get there really - I also just wanted to be off the horrible road.... road is a overstatement. You end up on a kind of path.. with big huge dips? I would say potholes but that doesn't do it justice. Anyways it was like a ride at the stampede being bumped and bounced all over the car, only it never seemed to end! Finally we got to the meeting spot and we all got out.

We hiked up a hill to the camp. I got to the top huffing and puffing thought I might die! OMG I AM SO OUT OF SHAPE IT'S SAD! Then the camp was before us. Really cool looking place, surround by trees at the peak of this mountain with a lake beside it. All these small cabins for various things. One is a the cookshack one is the boys cabin, one the girls, one is the bathroom, one is the laundry - etc. It was really rather pretty! They then took us to the cookshack for paper signing and then we all had lunch together.

Before lunch they all (other kids included) introduced themselves and how long they have been there. They are all at various stages - some a few weeks and some near the end. It was a nice atmosphere - very "family" like. I am allowed to take pictures of the camp, and I will do that. I just can't show you any of the people - confidentiality - which I 100% understand and agree with.

After lunch we, along with the mom and her daughter, did a activity together. It was to teach us how we all need each other to make it and to keep trying even if we fall back. Good for the kids to learn too. One of the impressive moments was they asked us to write down a trait we have that we feel will help us on the recovery. Brent wrote "commitment" and explained he is committed to making this work and to staying clean and sober. I was impressed to say the least.

Time came to go home and we all walked back to the van. Where I realized why I was huffing and puffing so bad on the way up. I was climbing up the side of a very steep mountain! Ok don't feel AS bad, still out of shape though. We get to the van and goodbyes start. That's when it hits me. He isn't coming home with us. He is staying here and I am trusting these strangers to help bring me my son back and to raise him for the next 3 months. Terror, anxiety. I hug him and shove my feelings aside - now sadness, the feeling of grief. I want to just bring him back with me. I hold it together - no tears and we are on our way back. I literally pass out on the way back to AADAC. I think the emotions of it all just take too much out of me and wham, I'm out. I am awakened by Larry's cell phone ringing in the van. Turns out he was out too.

Since then Brent phones and we phone him about every other day. He has come home for a Day visit. My brother took us all out for lunch for his and Jessica's birthday then back to our place for cake and coffee. It was a great day and Brent said some remarkable things to us.

He told us a story of how one day at camp they went on a hike up a mountain. At first he didn't like it then he ended up loving it. Part way up he realized this mountain was like "life". He explained, some parts are hard and difficult and some are amazing and enjoyable but its all worth it to get to the top. Insightful to say the least. While he was home he made a lot of these types of comments and we were amazed and proud. He was a different person.

The only way to describe this is to say it like this. As a parent you raise your child with morals and values and instill on them as much wisdom as you can. Then one day (as with us) this new person shows up and nothing you had taught them or told them seems to be there. You wonder what happened to that child you knew yesterday? Where did they go? And you try to barter and reason with the new one - which is (it seems) a never winning battle.

What we have seen in Brent is the "Brent" we new before. The one who disappeared. I think to myself when I hear him talk "wow, I remember you, where have you been? I've missed you so much!" The old Brent has fought his way back and we are so happy to see him. He's had some depression moments since he went back after his home visit. He misses us terribly. The last few days he has perked right up and said to me last night how it's been a month already! He is proud of his achievements and it went by so fast! He feels able to do 2 more. We are Proud. Very Proud.

BaseCamp has school every day. He will get a math credit as well as a phys-ed credit. When he returns home he will be able to go right back into Highschool to finish his grade 12. He comes home again next weekend for the whole weekend. We also get to spend a night out at the camp to experience the day in his life. That should be interesting! We also do family counselling every 2 weeks.


This program is a non profit program through AADAC which runs on donations. If you have the means please donate. If not for this program I don't think I would have ever seen my son back again.

~K