We went to the youth place where Brent was staying to have a meeting with their intake workers and him. Trying to figure out what Brent needs to do in order to come home. It was supposed to happen yesterday but they had to postpone it. All day I have been looking forward to this meeting, I haven't seen Brent or spoken to him or anything sincce last Sunday. I kept telling myself when I saw him to not grab him and hug him and cry and try to just be strong. Something I have to tell myself on a almost constant basis regardless lately.

I drove downtown and Larry and I walked over to the place. We were informed Brent wasn't back yet and we will wait for him to start the meeting. My heart sunk. He is doing the same thing he does at home. I fully expected to not see him at all at this point. The gal gave us a tour of the place and told us of what they do. I am impressed really - I will not be as quick to say we have no social programs. This is a good program, this is a good house (with rules much stickter than ours), nice looking place. I hate it though - because I want my son here with me, I want him to be with us as a family not there. So as much as I think they are doing a great job and I appreciate them and their work - I still hate them. If that makes sense.

We left and I still never saw or heard Brent. I fought back tears as we walked back to Larry's office and am still in a state of wonderment as to this whole situation. I don't understand any of it at all and I have no idea how to fix it. Again I am lost in the fog.

~K